It was the year that Comet IRAS32-Barrie shone so bright and so far across February skies that it put the full moon to shame. It was the most exciting election year in United States history, as incumbent Kaitlin Taft and challenger Chrystal Gilliatt-Moore deadlocked in the Electoral College, throwing the election into the House of Representatives. After eight months of public hearings, partisan infighting, sexual scandal, and the highest TV ratings ever recorded, the House awarded the Presidency to Jeff Boardmann, Ohio’s junior Senator. Both Taft and Gilliatt-Moore vanished from public life; it was rumored in the Washington Post that they were married in Vermont and moved to Alaska to set up a lesbian commune for disenchanted former-politicos.
It was the year of the Agbeko, an African dance that swept the world, boosted by candidate Gilliatt-Moore’s impromptu demonstration on the New Oprah Show. It was the year that Krasnoyarsk and Altaysk won their independence, the Social Security System finally collapsed, and a genetically-enhanced chimp named Toto finished fifth in the National Spelling Bee.
copyright (c) 2009, Don Sakers
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